Preface: This piece was initially published via Blogger on July 29th, 2018. As you might have guessed it was 3 months to the day after my wife and I were married. Looking over it now, it is hard to believe we are rapidly approaching the year mark. I am delighted about that, however I still have no clue what I will get her for our anniversary, and am open to suggestions as the world’s worst gift-giver. What is customary for the 1st anniversary? Hang-gliding package? Tuna of the month club? Seriously I need help….
*
When I think about how happy I am, I think of you.
When I think of you, I think of how different we are.
When I think about our differences, I think about your strength.
When I think about strength, I think about our love.
*
Based on my past (or even my present) I cannot type this and proclaim to suddenly be some expert on marriage. That assertion would be laughable. However, what I have learned is what works.
There’s a lot that’s obvious to me after 3 months of marriage to you. Foremost among them, and as evidenced by the above half-assed haiku, I am no poet. The main thing though is that one key reason for a marriage to fail can be traced back to not knowing what you have until it’s gone.
Even before our wedding I knew what I had in you. Someone that would support without nagging. Someone that would care without being critical. Someone who would love without judgment.
I am free to be myself, even as that person subtly changes over time. That is something that I have never experienced with anyone else. The only expectations are: That I love you in return and make you happy. God help me if I ever falter on either of those two points.
People always ask me, “David how will I know when it’s the right time to get married?”
Nope wait, hold on - this has actually never happened. Alternatively, I insert myself in to their conversations about marriage straight away and tell them they are asking themselves the wrong question, and instead should be asking; “Have I found the right person to get married to?”
People sometimes say, “Relationships are hard, relationships are work.” These people are wrong. If you are with the right person, relationships are easy. Getting along, living and loving together is effortless. You’ve reminded me what love is, and that marriage exists as an expression of and dedication to that rare kind of love.
If I could ask anything of you after 3 months it would be simply; keep setting the tone, and I will keep doing my best to respond in kind. But as a reminder I am a slow learner when it comes to these matters, so please be patient.
Always know that I love you.